I have to do this

Esther responded to Mordecai: “Go and get all the Jews in Susa to fast for me. Don’t eat or drink for 3 days. I and my attendants will fast with you. If you do this, I’ll go to the king, even though it is against the law.”

~Esther 4:15-16

Sometimes we have to do things on our own. Queen Esther was the only one who could possibly approach the king to try to save her people. She was scared. She tried to turn down Mordecai saying that she could die if she approached without being summoned. Mordecai told her that this could be why she was in the palace and that living in the palace would not save her if the Jews were to be killed. She plucked up her courage, asked her community for support and acted. She had to do the actual action alone, but she was supported in prayer and fasting.

There are things we do on our own. There are things that are scary or uncomfortable that we wish we didn't have to do, or that someone else could do. Our inner voice tells us to step up, to speak out, to stand up to the bully even if we would rather not. We have to find our community who supports us even if they aren't physically there with us. Our parents, our friends, our church...

When I went to Malawi for the first time to teach (kindgergarten!), I knew no one there. It wasn't a problem until I got on the flight and then I worried. But it was an adventure. Then came the first day of class...and I realized that I had no idea what I was doing. I couldn't do this! They didn't speak English and I didn't speak Chichewa. I knew next to nothing about teaching kindergarten or any early childhood education. I went to the principal after that first day and tried to resign. I can't do this! I don't know what I'm doing! It was chaos!  

She sent me back to my house with the directions to journal, pray and remember that I had support in prayers from people at home, strangers who pray for the school and teachers, parents of the students and so many more.  So I did. And I went back the next day. Class was better (ish), still chaotic, and I still felt like I didn't know what I was doing, but I got to love on some students and do my best and help them to move forward.

Support comes from all around. From friends and family and complete strangers. Be the support of others. Feel your support!